OkCupid Chronicles: The Undercover Offender Edition

20 May

A few weeks after my first online dating profile went up, I met Chris. He was the first person to message me that didn’t make me throw up in my mouth a little. We ended up messaging back and forth until 1am that night, and I gave him my number. He was about 5 years older than I was (which is exactly what I was looking for), a single dad (which I always find respectable), and seemed really sweet. He didn’t do any of the traditional online dating things I’m used to like asking for more pictures, pushing the sex/sexy talk too fast, and he actually seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me.

We’d exchange a few texts almost every day, and had plans to meet to watch a movie in the park. The Saturday before we were supposed to meet, at about 3am, I received a string of some of the most vulgar texts I have ever laid my eyes on.

Now I’m paraphrasing but the texts began with “I want to lick your wet, disgusting pussy, you dirty bitch…” and went on for about 10 pages. Now, you can probably tell that I’m not easily offended by my previous blog posts. I am definitely one of the most perverted people I know. So, please imagine how horrendous these texts were, if I sat there in some type of shocked disgust as I read them. I was rendered speechless even in the drunken state I was in.

Since it was a Saturday, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed maybe he was drunk dialing someone else. Those texts couldn’t have been meant for me. So, when he texted me the next day like nothing happened, I responded with “Ah I guess you had fun last night. I got some texts that I don’t think were meant for me.”

“No, they were.”

“Ew,” was all I said back, and I never talked to him again.

Still to this day, almost a year later, I get random late night texts from this guy- each one more revolting than the last.

You have never met me, but thank you for assuming by the looks of me that I am a dirty bitch with a wet, disgusting pussy. It’s bad enough that I almost had to sit through an entire movie with you (thank god it was a public place), but even worse, you are someone’s father, sir.

Only me. This can’t be real life.

*I still have a heart. Names have been changed.

9 Responses to “OkCupid Chronicles: The Undercover Offender Edition”

  1. ComplexSymmetry May 20, 2012 at 6:45 pm #

    10 pages? Whatever happened to the Middle Ages where a 10 page message was a love poem rather than a mass gathering of every word in the dictionary filed under “vulgar”…

    • This Ginger Life May 20, 2012 at 6:49 pm #

      hahaha seriously! Honestly though, if a guy wrote a girl a 10 page love poem today, he’d be filed under #PsychoStalkerStatus and never talked to again.

      • ComplexSymmetry May 20, 2012 at 7:16 pm #

        Catch 22 eh?
        Or I s’pose you could just be normal…but where’s the fun in that? 😛

      • This Ginger Life May 21, 2012 at 12:42 am #

        No, no, no- I wasn’t saying that I wouldn’t appreciate a 10pg love poem. I’m a Libra, a hopeless romantic. I was making a broad statement about the way society is these days. With that said, no, I will NEVER be normal bc life would be so boring, and then what would I write about?

    • Grace January 14, 2013 at 7:43 pm #

      I will not lie to you. When it comes to dating, looks and wehigt are very important. You can have all the self esteem in the world, but if the guy/girl you like isn’t attracted to your looks/ body type, it won’t make one bit of difference. We humans are funny that way. We are attracted to what we are attracted to, and there isn’t much we can do about it. Getting back to your original question though, I believe the reason people say, Have more confidence. is because someone who is secure and confident usually doesn’t ask questions about wehigt or height. I think people just assume that you are insecure, because you have ask the questions. Assumptions are never a good thing, though. Good luck on reaching your target wehigt. For some people it can be a constant and uphill battle, that is very frustrating.

    • Shezhonie January 15, 2013 at 5:58 am #

      Just thank the media for that because being fat met you were rich back then today means your a fat unaictve slob .and I know alot of slim people who can\’t even lift a ten pound weight.

  2. spektakx May 20, 2012 at 8:39 pm #

    i don’t even know what to think about this

    • This Ginger Life May 21, 2012 at 12:33 am #

      Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing lol 🙂

      • spektakx May 21, 2012 at 1:21 am #

        the thought that there is someone out there this dumb, or weird, or whatever, and that they likely have friends who are similar to them is frightening. mainly, because in their world, this sort of behavior is likely to be either normal, or only comical. (i had time to think about it)

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